Author Archives: Sam Prager

Unpacking the Haunting Allure of Ethel Cain’s Preacher’s Daughter

I’ve always ways been infatuated with music—a passion I could easily turn into a huge, pretentious book. But I’ll save the dramatics for another day and instead offer a shorter, more accessible piece. Recently, I set aside time to fully experience Ethel Cain’s ‘Preacher’s Daughter’, listening from start to finish. What I discovered was not only a stunning album but a soundtrack to a vast creative universe.

Ethel Cain is the stage name and fictional persona crafted by artist Hayden Silas Anhedonia. Rooted in Hayden’s experience of a strict religious upbringing in the ultra-conservative American South, Ethel Cain embodies a character whose world is drenched in the dark, haunting tones of faded Americana and tragic longing. Preacher’s Daughter builds on this atmosphere, weaving a tale that feels both familiar and ghostly. With each release tied to the album, Hayden offered rich supplemental material that further deepens the story’s world—a dimension I’ll explore in detail.

Preacher’s Daughter by Ethel Cain is a dark, immersive concept album about love, trauma, and life in the American South. Released in 2022, it follows the character, Ethel Cain as the preacher’s daughter, as she navigates love, betrayal, and ultimately tragedy. I admire the album for many reasons, if not entirely for its flexibility with sound and genre. It dips and sways from soft country pop, to gothic rock, and even doom metal. The range of which I don’t think can be easily achieved by just anyone. If anyone was to do it, it’s Ethel Cain.

For those ready to sit down and experience Preacher’s Daughter in full—or simply explore the intricate lore behind each song—I’ve created a breakdown that follows the album track by track. While some interpretations here reflect personal insights, many echo widely discussed themes within the fan community. Consider this a gentle guide, a hand to hold as you journey through Ethel Cain’s world. The story of Preacher’s Daughter deserves our careful attention, and I invite you to listen with intention as we unravel its depths together.

1. Family Tree (Intro) 

The intro of Preacher’s Daughter, titled “Family Tree (Intro),” sets the tone for the album’s dark themes. It introduces the story of Ethel Cain and her troubled family dynamics, particularly the weight of generational trauma and a sense of inevitable fate. The haunting, atmospheric sound conveys a feeling of foreboding, capturing Cain’s struggles with identity and faith within the constraints of a deeply conservative, religious upbringing. This intro lays the foundation for the intense, tragic journey that unfolds throughout the album. 

2. American Teenager 

“American Teenager”  is a bittersweet anthem about the contrast between the idealized American Dream and the harsh realities faced by teens in small-town America. The song reflects on themes of youthful optimism, patriotism, and disillusionment, capturing the feeling of longing for freedom and fulfillment while dealing with personal and societal struggles. Cain explores the pressures, dreams, and heartbreaks of American adolescence, creating a nostalgic yet somber take on what it means to grow up in a place where dreams often feel out of reach.

3. A House in Nebraska

On the third track, we experience a sudden dip in emotion, to a somber and haunting song in stark contrast to its predecessor. With a bold break- the tone shifts, introducing the next layer of the album. With additional context provided by Hayden, we know that Ethel is reminiscing about a former flame by the name of Willoughby. He will be the first of multiple lovers she will communicate within the album. 

This bit reminds me of a ‘secret lovers finding intimacy within walls of a decrepit old house, notebook by Nicholas Sparks,’ type of vibe. Young, deep, yet innocent love.

In the dictionary definition of ‘Yearn’ might appear as a reference to this song, as it completely captures the meaning and feeling. Ethel recalls on a past relationship that seems to have ended long before the events of the album take place. She reflects on visiting a house in Nebraska which can be figurative or literal, as a safe haven that she once shared with her lover. Ghostly echoes and haunting vocal delivery create a melancholy slide into the rest of the album. 

4. Western Nights

Western Nights offers a full-fledged experience as Ethel finds herself now in a toxic relationship with a criminal. Her commentary on their relationship gives a full vision of hazy neon nights in smoky saloons and motel rooms. Ethel convinces herself of this idyllic, fast-paced, life on the interstate, but slips into the dark underbelly of black and blues and obvious danger. It seems as though Ethel may be young and naive, desperate for freedom from her upbringing. Tempted by danger, she wants to padlock herself and her loyalty to her lover and her lifestyle, at the expense of her own safety. Even willing to participate in the crimes. 

“I’d hold the gun if you asked me to.” 

We all can appreciate this artistic imagery of wanting to live life on the edge in the scenic West. The rest of it- not so much of course. 

5. Family Tree

Family tree returns to Ethel’s upbringing to contrast to her current circumstances as a criminals bruised lover. Ethel believes that she is now ‘unclean’ in the eyes of her parents and of god. Blaming herself for being taken advantage of by her lover. In this way, many could relate to the religious and spiritual guilt that comes with sinning against what you’ve been raised to believe. Ethel asks god for forgiveness perhaps in revelation of where she finds herself now. Regretting all that has led her to this position. 

As the sheltered and the curious chase personal freedoms, it is not uncommon to pause for a moment and partake in a bit of self-loathing. All that you have been taught to be good and pure of the world, you no longer feel clean for a moment. 

6. Hard Times

With a lethargic mellow beat, Ethel reflects on her complicated relationship with her father. In supplemental details, it is alluded to that he not only emotionally, but sexually abused her as well. It is common in abuse for survivors to hold mixed feelings for their abusers especially when their abusers were family members. The family aspect creates space for just as much care as resentment. 

“I was too young to notice that some types of love could be bad.” 

Ethel expresses her frustration with being familially tied to her abuser, the abuse, she still carries with her. The song replicates that heavy lethargy that often accompanies depression. 

7. Thoroughfare

It seems as though things are taking a turn for the better in this lighter country tune. It’s rosy and airy, gentle and romantic. 

It’s believed by this point in the story, Ethel’s former criminal lover was killed during a robbery. Ethel ran away due to now being an accomplice. Ethel meets a new love interest while thumbing for a ride on the side of a Texas road. They then travel to the western coast of California. With nowhere to go and nowhere to be, Ethel sets off to explore dusty diners and more dusky motel rooms with the stranger. Through their travels she finds herself falling for this man whose lust for life and exploration seems to offer her a refreshing outlook on love. 

“Once we reached the end of the coast you said, “End of the line.”

It has been communicated through additionally provided lore, that either in the beginning or in the midst of their relationship, Ethel was actually kidnapped by Isaiah at gunpoint. By the way, the guitar solo by the 6-minute mark is swoon-worthy in my book.

Around the 7-minute mark of this 10-minute tune, the light and warmth of the song enter a strange purgatory, signaling something less light and warm is to come. I believe in accordance with the story, these sounds represent Ethel trying drugs with this new lover. It turns out that this glimmer of hopeful adventure is not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s believed Ethel is heavily romanticizing this man who we now know to be Isaiah.

8. Gibson Girl

Notice the immediate stark contrast between Gibson Girl and its predecessor, Thoroughfare. The light luster of Ethel’s voice is gone and in its place a drained murmur.

It’s important to also notice the slight distortion of her voice now. To many and myself, believe this signifies her being on drugs. 

Another dark twist of fate leaves Ethel once again failed by a man she thought she could find solace in. The man is now forcing her into prostitution/dancing of sorts to fund his drug habit. It’s believed he has her hooked as well and this is how he keeps her hostage. 

Please note the sudden drop-off at 0:30 seconds left. She leaves the song without finishing her sentence, and we are adrift in a deep and threatening drone.

9. Ptolemaea

The ninth circle of hell, as told by Dante’s Inferno. Ptolemaea is the deepest circle of hell, reserved for betrayers.

“You love blood too much, but not like I do.” 

The ninth track dives into a hellish audio experience complete with distorted flies feasting upon your eardrums in unpleasant, tense waves. The distant wails of Ethel’s pain as she is subjected to something violent. Something has gone wrong in Ethel’s journey. Additional drug-fueled tripping may be taking place as well. As we listen further, what seems like a bad trip, materializes to Ethel releasing a bone-chilling wail as her life is taken from her at the hands of Isaiah. 

And queue the doom metal. 

10. August Underground

Ethel Cain is dead. Well- almost. In track 10, Ethel is left to die and rot in Isaiah’s attic. This dramatic instrumental seals another beautiful layer of cinematic to this album. It draws familiar to horror soundtracks. Its name even refers to a pseudo-snuff horror film. The story of Ethel Cain has turned into a snuff film in the attic of a dreary southern farmhouse, where our main character, has been left to die. It’s bleak, it’s depressing. The character we have been rooting for has been murdered.

Yet again, let down by another man in her life. 

11. Televangelist

One of my favorite tracks in the album. The beauty of this instrumental emulates the post-mortem experience Ethel is now going through. She is finally free from her suffering, at only the cost of her life. While her body rots, her spirit ascends above her in this heavenly lullaby. Little words are needed here.

12. Sun-Bleached Flies

Ethel reaches the final phase of her grief, acceptance. Ethel reflects on her life and her family. She makes peace with her past and all the people she’s left behind. Sometimes moving forward requires us to let go of who we were, or who we thought we should have been. Life unfolded as it did and there’s no changing it now. I also interpret this song another way – she romanticizes the traumatic upbringing she experienced as it now shines in contrast to where she’s ended up. We always compare our circumstances and what we once thought was awful almost seems appealing in the wake of something worse that has come along. Ethel yearns for her past. 

“What I wouldn’t give to be in church this Sunday”

13. Strangers

In the final track, A deceased Ethel Cain speaks to her killer. It’s apparent that Ethel’s body now lies in Isaiah’s freezer. 

“Freezer bride, your sweet divine. You devour like sweet bovine hide. How funny, I never considered myself tough.” (Referring to her own meat as tough)

Isaiah is cannibalizing Ethel’s remains.

Even in death, Ethel wants to appease her man by being good enough. She asks Isaiah as he consumes her if she tastes good enough. 

“With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence.” (Calling back to her missing person flyer.)

Ethel is unable to turn in her grave, she turns in Isaiah’s stomach, prompting the question “Am I making you feel sick?”

With this powerful rock ballad, our journey comes to an emotional, and melancholy close. Ethel tells her mother that she loves her and that she’ll see her when she gets to the afterlife. 

–

Preacher’s Daughter is a traumatic and tragic conceptual masterpiece. I think what I love the most about it is its inception by Hayden herself. Hayden had an idea and created an entire cinematic universe to support it. Seldom do modern artists provide such depth and lore behind their albums. I admire Hayden’s effort and thought put into this project. I await her future projects with anticipation. 

Rest in Peace, Ethel Cain. 

If you put a gun to my head and told me to explain the difference between a Kickturn and a Backside Heelflip- tell my family I love them. Despite my lack of textbook knowledge, I have grown to appreciate skateboarding as an observer and occasional gravel-in-knee amateur. I remember as a kid, sitting on the street curb, scraping wood chips into the cement, watching my two brothers eat shit on their skateboards all afternoon. Then, being the youngest and by default, last to pick what to watch when cable TV was available to us, spent hours watching Viva La Bam and Rob Dyrdecks Fantasy Factory. Lastly- and most favorable was watching my brothers play Tony Hawk on the PlayStation as often as possible. (Notice I said watching- being the youngest sibling is trifling at times.) . Needless to say, skateboarding has more or less been an ingrained love that I have held since childhood. I don’t know if it was the hand me down etnies or what because sure as shit I could never skate. But the nostalgia and memories surrounding it proved to give me a lasting admiration for it.

The skate scene is alive and well in Provo, Utah, and you can thank photographer & videographer Abel David Cayas.

I had the privilege of attending the premiere of Abel’s third film, ‘Gut Feeling,’ a classically styled skate video of local skaters showcasing their impressive skills, or “shredding the gnar,” if you will. The night unfolded as folks came tumbling in from the frigidity of January outside. Wrapped up in their coziest coats and knits- We all gathered into the warm back room of a thrift store, shoulder to shoulder, and watched onward at the screen projection…

Skateboarding and Videography have gone hand in hand since the early 90s when handheld camcorders started to become more readily available to the consumer market. Quickly thereafter, and for the foreseeable future, skate filmography solidified itself in history as one of the most influential giants in culture, media, and fashion, and it holds true to that legacy even today.

Upholding that legacy is Abel’s “Gut Feeling.” Not only does gut feeling feel like a Time Capsule of 90s anti-establishment charm, but the real treat is simply being able to watch someone doing what they love to do. It is seldom another medium that can capture the beauty of someone in their element, quite like skate filmography can. Quite like gut feeling can.

Gut feeling sequences skateboarders cruising through the concrete underbellies of town. Abel steadily captures the joy, excitement, big victories – and small wipeouts that come with the territory of the sport. The personality and style of each skater are clearly displayed.

Pack that with a wicked soundtrack, and you’ve got yourself a killer skate video.

Filmography has held a very special place in my heart since I was young, and I felt very excited as a fellow film lover to celebrate Abel’s success. It is sickeningly exciting to get to support someone’s art. I had the opportunity to poke and prod at Abel for a couple minutes before and after the show, to which he humbly allowed the annoyance of my curiosities for my little blog.

Is this your first film?

Abel: Gut Feeling will be my third film release

Have you always liked film? How did you get into it?

Abel: When I was young, I would mess around with the camera and film my two brothers. I started getting into skate videography around 2016.

I had to ask him the worst, but my mandatory question – what are your top 3 favorite movies?

Abel: In no particular order,

-The Sound of Metal

Abel: This next one might sound a little silly and I don’t say it to be quirky or whatever but growing up I used to watch the teenage mutant ninja turtles all the time, I feel like part of my personality stems from Michelangelo” he laughed.

For the record, that is probably the most valid answer I’ve received in a long time. I get it, Abel.

Abel: and the third would definitely be “Your Name.”

Abel: My wife and I’s first date was watching that, so it’s very special to me, and even hearing the soundtrack, sometimes I get emotional.

Again- 100% valid.

Are there any specific photographers/videographers that inspire your style?

Abel: Definitely William Strobeck.

And lastly, what inspires you to film?

Abel: My two brothers, Andrew and Matt, really pushed me to pursue film, and all the support from my friends and family- it’s really awesome.

I thanked him for his time and released him from my prying. He was a great interview and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to witness his art.

Before our conversation broke, I couldn’t help but share my admiration for art and film, I yelled through the music “Art and film- its such compulsion- it’s like something inside of you that you just HAVE to get out. you HAVE to create.”

Abel nodded and smiled. “Exactly, Exactly!”

Abel, thank you for sharing your art and brotherhood with us!

You can follow along on his endeavors at @abeldavidcayas on Instagram

Gut Feeling can now be viewed online HERE

Gallery

Like my ‘About’ page says- I am a teenage girl trapped in a 24-year-old woman’s body. Although outwardly, it seems like a jovial quip, most women, I would argue, can relate a sense of their own reality to the statement.

I tend to believe, even more so today, that girls are highly encouraged by society to mature quicker than their little hearts can bear-or should for that matter. Girls are groomed by society at a tender age, and their value is measured by their ability to adapt to beauty standards. Receiving praise, adoration, and priority, if you manage to fit into whatever is deemed ‘pretty’ at the time, how could you not want to try and achieve that standard? We all seek to love and be loved, after all.

By the time a woman enters her twenties, she will have assumed over 10 years of identities based on the current trends of each year. Performing at an Olympic pace to keep up with the rapid rate at which the definition of beauty has evolved. At the “ripe” age of 24 years old, you will find yourself exhausted from the sprint, and realize that while you were busy trying to feel valued (by a concentration of people who of which nearly never even value themselves) you did not get enough time to just be a girl.

If you are lucky enough to catch this break, your twenties become a bittersweet return to girlhood and to one’s true self. The self that lacks the constant fear of not being desired or understood by men. Within a mesh of mourning time lost with her and celebrating your inner girl, you do begin to feel as though you were not meant to grow up. In fact, you may find yourself wondering if you will ever stop feeling like a young girl inside.

Many young women today are experiencing this newfound awakening after what seems like the dark ages of girlhood. While I still admittedly take pride in my “Tomboy” upbringing, I have become smitten with everything girlhood is STEREOTYPICALLY and MATERIALISTICALLY known to be.

A brute force of glitter, the sight of a dollhouse, and the constant psychological need for the color pink.

This only very, very briefly scratches the material surface of what my newfound girlhood means to me. The context in this mindset provides a deeper look into why the story of Priscilla Presley and her life with Elvis, struck so internally for myself and many others.

I saw “Priscilla” in theaters this past fall with a dear girlfriend. From start to finish, we were glued to the screen in shock, horror, and, most of all – heartbreak. And yet, whenever there was a scene that inspired a reaction, I found comfort in the fact that I could turn to my friend, and I knew she was already looking at me with the same dumbfounded reaction as myself.

Actress Cailee Spaeny effortlessly becomes a 14-year-old Priscilla Presley. Sofia Coppola, the film’s producer, writes Priscilla in such a way that while you are aware she’s 14, you KNOW she is 14. Her mannerisms, speech, and appearance are all excellently tailored to perfectly drive home the innocence and naivety of that age.

The main reason this film strikes such a cord with so many women everywhere is a recurring theme throughout the film (and her life) in which a young girl finds herself in situations where she feels unsafe, specifically at the hands of a man.

Women can recall a pivotal moment in their girlhood where they suddenly became violently aware of the way men may view girls. It is a gutting moment as a girl. In an instance, your heart drops, and your stomach turns as you realize there is no safety in being a girl.

The pit in your stomach forms the moment your elder male teacher comments on your 14-year-old body. The moment on your first date where the boy tries to kiss you before ever holding your hand. The moment his kindness turns to disgust the second you try to decline his advances. The moment you realize why you are afraid to walk alone at night. There are a myriad of moments, even more drastic than these, which I will not be divulging.

In one of many instances in the film, Priscilla bravely confronts Elvis about his fidelity, to which he explodes in a complete tirade of insanity on her. He rushes straight to their bedroom, throws out all of her clothing onto a suitcase, and tells her to start packing. I simply cannot fully imagine the level of fear and heartbreak she must have felt at that moment.

In another instance, only very shortly after giving birth to their daughter, Elvis very randomly tells Priscilla that they should “take a break”. SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO THEIR CHILD!? in this, Priscilla takes it upon herself to start packing her own things, to which Elvis almost instantly retracts and stops her. The emotional torment she endures. You can see the sadness in her eyes, something I think Cailee Spaeney excels at portraying.

The film follows young Priscilla’s life as she becomes completely immersed in the life of Elvis, and in my own opinion-loses her sense of self. She is no longer a little girl. She IS Elvis. You watch her transformation from girlhood to a living doll. The film is called “boring” by some because it follows the mundane and silent parts of her life, in stark contrast to the glamour and rage of Elvis’s. Every time Elvis leaves on tour or to film a movie, he leaves Priscilla alone at Graceland to her own devices. Much like a doll on a shelf, waiting to be played with again.

But you also are privileged enough to witness her transform into Priscilla Beaulieu towards the end of the film and the eventual end of her marriage with Elvis. You are rooting for her, and it almost feels like a win at the end to see her grow. You have the privilege of what I believe is Priscilla also returning to herself and returning to her stolen girlhood. Her appearance is no longer specifically tailored to the brand of Elvis, she becomes truly her own person.

All this to say that this film meant a lot to me personally. This film boasts a surplus of melancholy. I was previously not paying attention to Sofia Coppola much; honestly, I don’t tend to track specific directors or producers consistently. but now she has captured my full attention as well as the world’s. I even purchased her book “Sofia Coppola Archive” (which still hasn’t shipped yet due to back order).

Anyway, this has been my two cents on girlhood and the Priscilla movie. To make up for the dreary thinkpiece this was, I have included additional photos below for your viewing pleasure.

P.S. I would just like to include that I also read the book, which includes a fun fact that one time, Elvis took Priscilla on a date to a Morgue to look at dead bodies.

Elvis was f*cking weird.

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